Suicide Warning Signs

Recently a well-loved teen in our area took his own life. Someone who knew him referred to him as the heart of his school. Although I do not know the details of the situation, I do think it is utterly important to take this time and point out the warning signs of suicide. I've seen how one suicide can spark a trend towards other peers making the same choice; that's the last thing I'd wish to see in the midst of this tragic loss.

Obviously, posting this cannot bring back the friend that has been lost. I was hesitant to bring this up, because I would hate for any of his friends to live in regret. I know I, myself, have spent many hours mulling over "would have," "could have," and "should have." We cannot change the past, that is why it is crucial that we all learn from the past.

So here is the list of warning signs:

1. Be attentive to anyone who mentions suicide. Some people will talk about suicide in a joking manner. Some people will bring it up in a laid back manner: "Sometimes I wonder what it would be life if I just wasn't here." Both of these ways of talking may not seem like a big deal, and it's hard to see them as a concern. But please pay careful attention. These are both serious warning signs. Be direct with your friend. "Have you really been thinking about that?" or "Please don't joke about that. If you need someone to talk to, let's talk right here and now."

2. Beware of anyone who starts giving away their things. It may seem like a friend is being generous, but many times people will give away their things when they don't plan on being around much longer. If your friend gives you something that you know is important to them, approach them. "Is there any reason why you're giving this to me? Don't you still want it? Is everything going ok?"

3. Beware of a friend who has been going through a bout of depression and suddenly seems happy or calm. It may seem like things have gotten all better, but in some cases the reason they seem calm is that they have decided that they will end their life. They appear calm because they see this choice as an escape from whatever overwhelms them. Make a point to talk to your friend. "I noticed you've been going through a hard time lately, and suddenly you seem different. What's going on? What changed?"

People with suicidal thoughts often feel as though they do not deserve to live. They feel as though they are a burden on everyone around them. They may feel trapped by circumstances in life, and not even know what exactly makes them feel trapped. They may feel as though the only way to escape is to leave life itself. When a person feels this way, they don't often know how to cry out for help. After all, someone who doesn't feel they deserve to live tends to feel they don't deserve to have any help.

Be attentive to your loved ones. Watch for warning signs. For those of us who haven't always caught the warning signs, we must be careful not to live life in regret. Take time to mourn. Grieve the loss of a friend or family member, and let's all be sure to learn from these tragic events to help prevent them from happening again.

There are many in our area who will be grieving for some time. Not only for the recent teen suicide, but also for the fatal car accident of a teen. Some people grieve in strange ways. However you choose to grieve, please be respectful of those who have passed away; regardless of your opinion on their actions. There are many who are hurting and will continue to hurt for quite a while. Making assumptions and judgments, on the morals of those who are gone, will not help anyone deal with this loss.

I will be praying for everyone directly affected by this event. I will pray even more that we can all learn from this and take time to really listen to our loved ones in need.

For those of you who are dealing with suicidal thoughts, please, PLEASE, find someone to talk to. You are created and loved by God. If you need to cry out for help please find a safe place to do so. I would gladly be a listening ear and a partner in prayer.